You're so nebulous sometimes
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize
