physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
