i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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