Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
