haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
