are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
well you can't waste a boner
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
