I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I understand Curling. That high.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
