R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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