I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
