party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
