Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
