I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
