dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Someone came in the potted fern
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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