just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
