I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
