I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
