so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
