Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
