omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
