Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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