Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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