out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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