She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
