Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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