I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
