...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my being single is dangerous.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
