Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
