sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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