Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
