So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
