The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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