I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
