got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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