yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
