I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
