Whats the glycemic index on semen?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
