yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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