guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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