if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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