The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
