I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
