And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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