I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
id be glad to
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
