No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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