i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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