she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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