I just pynch a tree in the face
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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