dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just found puke in my bra..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
