ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
