I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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