The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
